How do I move from abuse victim to survivor?

From Victim of Domestic Abuse to Survivor. . . Loris Journey

The best part of todays blog. . .Hear how Lori moved from abuse victim to survivor!

Today’s blog post is a story about Lori’s journey to heal from her experience with abuse. Today she celebrates that she has moved from a victim of abuse to a survivor, but that journey was not easy. . .

Throughout childhood, Lori faced tremendous self-esteem issues resulting from bullying and verbal assault. She did not have the confidence to believe her life was worthwhile. When she was fifteen years old, her hero showed up and offered her love that she could not give herself.

Lori believed her life now had purpose, yet she quickly discovered that her emotions depended on her relationship with her hero. Weekends provided the opportunity for the couple to spend extended time together. During this time, Lori could not live up to her hero’s expectations. He would verbally abuse her and remind her of her lack of worth outside of him. Yet, only days later, she would again view him as her hero when he would send her flowers and remind her of her beauty and worth.

The summer before Lori’s junior year, at the age of 16, the couple married. It was on her wedding night that she was first beaten by her now husband. This was in the month of July. Eight months later, during the month of March, Lori’s hero/husband nearly ended her life. The total number of bones fractured in Lori’s body was extreme. She was left on the bathroom floor, bleeding, with a fractured back, skull fractures, and numerous head injuries.

Lori sought help from her family. The doctor treating her recommended that she be placed into counseling in addition to the physical treatment she would require. Lori’s family did not believe in counseling. To calm her anxiety, she was provided with cigarettes.

Like many abuse survivors, the next few years of Loris life she sought comfort through band-aid behaviors like alcohol, sex, and drugs. Her abuser had declared very negative words over her life, and she was on a quest to prove him wrong. She sought fulfillment from any male who could, even if for only a little while, ease her pain.

Despite all of the trauma in her life, Lori graduated from high school with a 4.2 GPA, after being placed in many advanced courses. She was also a full-blown alcoholic and desperate for anyone to ease her emotional pain.

Her second marriage began as the result of an unplanned pregnancy. The new couple struggled in this marriage and chose to address the problem by having more children. Having more children did not heal Lori’s pain. The marriage ended shortly after the second child’s birth. It was during this time that Lori was admitted into a psychiatric facility.

The cycle of abuse continued as Lori’s third boyfriend moved into her home. Lori miscarried their baby and experienced the death of her mother both in a very short period of time. Her addictions spiraled out of control. Her drug use was at the highest level she had ever experienced. The couple had two more children, but shortly after her boyfriend was charged with child abuse, ending the relationship.

Lori sought help through in a drug rehab center. The help she received was temporary. Her behaviors returned upon release from the program.

Let’s fast forward to today. Lori is happily married to a man who is a pastor in a church. She has found peace in Jesus Christ and relies on Him for all her needs. She supports low income and homeless individuals in a local ministry, and addiction is in her past. Her present is happiness and joy.

How did this massive change take place in Loris life?

It began when she surrendered her life to Jesus Christ. She no longer sought quick fixes to heal her wounds, but allowed Christ to become her happiness and joy. Lori thinks of her life like a sponge. Previously, she was so full of holes that she leaked everywhere. Today, she sees her life as God infused, and she has so much extra because of who He is. She wants to share it.

If you feel trapped in your experience of abuse, Loris message to you is this. Jesus Christ has the power to heal you. You no longer have to be a victim; you can be a survivor!

Lori encourages you to understand who you have been created to be. You were made with worth. You are very special and unique. She believes that as you begin to see yourself through the lenses of who Christ created you to be, you will begin to love yourself.

Lori acknowledges that healing is a hard journey. She faced many challenges as she established a healthy marriage and has tried to restore relationships with her children. Overcoming addiction is not easy. But, as you begin to see yourself through the eyes of our True Hero, Jesus Christ, you will find peace and strength to face the healing process.

Lori now chooses to embrace a bright future. She believes her family relationships will be restored fully and eagerly anticipates spending countless hours spoiling her grandchildren. She loves helping people in her church and in her local ministry and wants to help women be happy being who they were created to be in Christ.


You also can experience the freedom Lori has experienced. You can move from an experience with abuse to experiencing life in its fullest. Jesus Christ desires to heal you. If you do not know Him, today is a great day to begin that relationship. The Bible tells us that if we confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in our heart that he has been raised from the dead, we will be saved. He alone can heal and complete you.


Lori would like to thank a few of the people who have helped her on her healing journey. First and foremost, she thanks Jesus Christ, the Healer. She is also grateful for her husband, Rob, who showed her what a Godly, healthy, and loving relationship should look like. Libby, who showed her that testimonies have the power to inspire others to share their stories. Kathleen, who through her own testimony, encouraged Lori that even if it were painful, it was worth sharing her experience to help others. Finally, she would like to thank Victoria for giving her simple dates and facts a life of their own.


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