I recently heard a pastor talk about an exercise his team was required to complete at a men’s leadership retreat. The men were handed a rope which led them through a downstairs maze. Each person was spaced a small distance apart and blindfolded. Their goal was to complete the maze, which would lead them back to the floor above.
The pastor recalled following the rope and feeling confident until a split occurred in the rope. He then had to choose his path. By listening to the other men around him, he made what he believed to be the best decision. Several minutes later, he realized he was back at the split. He had made a circle, only to end up where he had started!
He began to listen to those around him for guidance on which way to go. But, while listening, he noticed that the room had become much quieter. Many of the men had successfully returned upstairs.
In frustration, he began to talk and ask others for help. What he did not know was that guides had been placed around the room. When he asked the guide what path to take, the guide gently directed him toward the rope that led upstairs.
The healing journey may feel like you are blindfolded, in the dark, and following a rope. You may not know exactly where the end will be, but you do know you want to get there.
Please do not forget to ask for help. Mentors, counselors, and friends may be able to speak into your life, offering direction and hope.
Each of these three roles is discussed at length in my book. But for today, let’s just focus on the need to be willing to let people be part of your healing journey.
I understand that it was people who hurt you. I also know you have probably survived by fighting to take care of yourself. You can also read about the effect of violence.
But you probably also feel alone. Maybe you feel different. Maybe you are confident no one would like you enough to help you. These statements are lies. We should also awareness about the effect of violence.
For me, the hardest part of allowing people to be part of my life was that I had to be honest with them, be vulnerable, and trust that they wouldn’t reject me. How could someone want to be my friend, my mentor, or my counselor?
It takes guts to try to reconnect with people after you have been deeply wounded. But it is worth it. You will find that many different types of relationships make up your core group of connections. Each relationship will involve different dynamics. But, most importantly, the relationships you experience will break the isolation you feel. And, this, my friend, is an important stage of the healing process!
You can also read about Forget being abused